


Do Over

by dboys



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Butterfly Effect, M/M, Not actual character death if you read the alternate ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7544350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dboys/pseuds/dboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myungjun wakes with a jolt, he can't remember what his dream was about but there are tears streaming down his face. Should it concern him? Is there something wrong, something he's missing?</p><p>No, of course not, it's stupid, just a dumb dream.</p><p>Just a dumb dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello this is my first astro fic and it was written for [Maegan](https://twitter.com/myungjun777) because she encourages me to write angst for some reason
> 
> anyways, sanha is 18 in this but nothing 18+ happens, don't worry!!
> 
> also posted on [aff](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1154104) if you'd rather read it there!

i.

Myungjun wakes with a jolt, he can't remember what his dream was about but there are tears streaming down his face. Should it concern him? Is there something wrong, something he's missing?

No, of course not, it's stupid, just a dumb dream.

Just a dumb dream.

He laughs to himself, wiping away the tears and sitting up, slumping over and staring at his white bed sheets.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…” He mutters to himself. He knows he's right, but there's still this thought in the back of his mind telling him he's wrong and that this should be taken more seriously than he currently is. Nonetheless, he doesn't have time to worry over this, he slides out of bed and shuffles across the room, making his way to the door and then the kitchen.

“You look… like you’ve had better mornings…” Jinwoo says over his cup of coffee, furrowing his brows with the concern Myungjun should probably have. “You okay? Rough night?”

“Bad dream.”

Jinwoo frowns, setting his cup down. Myungjun can feel his stare, he knows he's acting weird, he's the one that's supposed to be happy, the one that sets the mood in a good way, yet here he is, sitting at the small table in their small kitchen in their small apartment.

“Do we have any orange juice?” He asks, trying to break the tense air.

“I think you drank the last of it yesterday.” Jinwoo responds simply, tracing his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. “We can go get some if you want.”

“Yeah,” Myungjun responds absently, standing along with Jinwoo and wandering to find his shoes. He slips on the flip-flops over his socks, turning to Jinwoo who looks at him strangely.

“MJ,” He says, frowning once more. “They're on the wrong feet.”

Myungjun looks down seeing that, yes, his shoes are on the wrong feet. He quickly fixes his mistake and looks at Jinwoo expectantly, waiting for the other to open the door.

Jinwoo opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it in favor of finally opening the door and beckoning for Myungjun to walk out first.

The walk out of the building is quiet, but not in a good way. Myungjun stumbles on the stairwell more times than he’d like to admit, this was the worst possible time for the elevator to be out of service. Maybe it's a sign that Myungjun shouldn't have gone out, but it's too late now.

He was just out getting orange juice, anyways, how harmful could it be?

“Spill it,” Jinwoo nearly demands as soon as they're out of the building, making Myungjun face him and crossing his arms. “Something happened, this isn't like you, even when you're sad you're not like this.”

Myungjun frowns. Any other day, he would have been gleeful that he has a friend as good as Park Jinwoo, someone that genuinely cares about his wellbeing. But it's kind of hard to appreciate when… “I literally don't know what’s wrong, I— I—” He stutters. “I woke up and— and tears were just falling down my face,” He's talking animatedly with his hands, ranting on and avoiding eye contact with Jinwoo. “And I have no memory of the dream whatsoever but I feel like it was something really b—bad, Jinjin, and I feel like it was important and meant something but I can't figure it out and I'm so confused and don't know what to do about it—”

Jinwoo looks at him sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder and cutting him off. “You don't have to say the rest,” He says quietly. “Let's just go get some orange juice.”

Myungjun nods quickly, mind focusing on this bad thing again, but grateful that Jinwoo was understanding that this was a problem, but not something Myungjun is ready to discuss just yet.

The rest of the walk isn't as bad, Myungjun knows that Jinwoo is worried, but he thinks that it has calmed the other that Myungjun had at least opened up a little bit.

The store visit is uneventful, he finds what they need and he quickly makes his way to the cash register.

“Good morning, how are you today?” The worker says with a smile.

He must be new, Myungjun thinks. He'd never seen him before and Jinwoo and him visit this store about three times a week. Sanha, Myungjun reads on his name tag, is tall and slender, strawberry blond hair with a welcoming smile and radiant eyes. He caught Myungjun’s attention, to say in the least.

“Not one for talking, I see,” Sanha laughs quietly to himself, obviously a little embarrassed at his question going ignored.

“What? Sorry.” Myungjun says, coming out of his analyzing daze. “Good morning, I'm… dandy… how are you?” He properly responds.

Sanha smiles, meeting eyes with Myungjun as he scans the single item. “I'm fine, thank you for asking!” He responds cheerfully.

When Myungjun leaves, the smile on Sanha’s face stays and Myungjun exits knowing that at least someone was having a good day. Which, nicely makes Myungjun feel a bit better that he was able to contribute to that.

“What was that about?” Jinwoo asks with a grin, bumping Myungjun with his shoulder.

Frankly, Myungjun doesn't even know himself. However, he doesn't feel as bad anymore, almost happy, even. And it's thanks to Sanha.

“I just feel really happy all of the sudden.” Myungjun nearly whispers, smile stretching across his face as warmth spreads through his chest.

It's the small things that can make the biggest impacts, Myungjun thinks to himself. Not daring to say it out loud, knowing it’s way too cheesy even for him.

-

-

It's nearing 11:00 in the evening, Myungjun is waiting for the nightly news to come on because, in some of his friends words, he's a grandpa. Since the store visit, Myungjun’s dream hasn't been mentioned, and to his knowledge, Jinwoo wasn't worried anymore. Myungjun wasn't worried about himself, either.

The show finally changes, news introduction, announcing the anchors and a few minutes later going into the segments.

It's the third segment.

 _“— a hit and run around 4:00pm,_ ” It catches Myungjun’s attention, he sets down his phone, completely glued to the television now. He didn't know what it was about these things that caught his attention so much. “ _The victim has been identified as Yoon Sanha, an 18 year old male—”_ A picture appears on the screen, Myungjun’s blood goes cold.

He throws his phone at the television, making a decent sized dent in it and quickly scrambling for the remote, shutting it off immediately.

“WHAT’S WRONG?” Jinwoo yells, panicked, huffing as he stares at Myungjun and then looks to the television. “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TV?”

“There— there was a hit and run and— and—” He stutters out, trembling flashbacks finally coming to him.

“What about it?” Jinwoo asks, frowning.

“It was the guy from the store earlier! It was him, it was Sanha and now I remember my dream and it was him dying, it was Sanha dying and—”

“MJ, that's crazy…”

“YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!” Myungjun yells, covering his ears and tucking his knees into his chest. “BUT IT WAS HIM, I PROMISE, IT WAS YOON SANHA, YOON FREAKING SANHA I REMEMBER THE NAME, THE FACE, THE AGE, and…” He quiets down. “And I was standing right there when he was hit…”

Jinwoo washing for a while before responding. “MJ, that's crazy…” He repeats. “Are you sure you're not just looking for answers and you ended up making this up?”

“YOU THINK I COULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING AS BRUTAL AND HORRIFIC AS THIS?”

“You didn’t even know the kid existed until today!” Jinwoo says harshly, forcefully sitting himself next to Myungjun, pulling his hands off his ears and pinning them to his sides.

“Am I going insane?” Myungjun asks, more to himself than to Jinwoo.

“I don’t know what to tell you, MJ, I’m sorry.”

He feels bad.

He feels bad that he made his friend worry about him so much, he feels bad that Yoon Sanha had to die in such a tragic way, he feels bad that he may have been able to do something about it if he could have just remembered his god damn dream—

It’s all too much.

Tears begin uncontrollably falling down his face, much worse than it was this morning. Myungjun sobs and Jinwoo pulls him in, hugging him tight and rubbing small circles on his back. “It’ll be okay.” Jinwoo promises.

Myungjun has a hard time believing it.

 

ii.

Myungjun wakes with a jolt, he can't remember what his dream was about but there are tears streaming down his face. Should it concern him? Is there something wrong, something he's missing?

No, of course not, it's stupid, just a dumb dream.

Just a dumb dream.

He laughs to himself, wiping away the tears and sitting up, slumping over and staring at his white bed sheets.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…” He mutters to himself. He knows he's right, but there's still this thought in the back of his mind telling him he's wrong and that this should be taken more seriously than he currently is. Nonetheless, he doesn't have time to worry over this, he slides out of bed and shuffles across the room, making his way to the door and then the kitchen.

“You look… like you’ve had better mornings…” Jinwoo says over his cup of coffee, furrowing his brows with the concern Myungjun should probably have. “You okay? Rough night?”

“Bad dream.”

Jinwoo frowns, setting his cup down. Myungjun can feel his stare, he knows he's acting weird, he's the one that's supposed to be happy, the one that sets the mood in a good way, yet here he is, sitting at the small table in their small kitchen in their small apartment.

“Do we have any orange juice?” He asks, trying to break the tense air.

“I think you drank the last of it yesterday.” Jinwoo responds simply, tracing his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. “We can go get some if you want.”

“Yeah,” Myungjun responds absently, standing along with Jinwoo and wandering to find his shoes. He slips on the flip-flops over his socks, turning to Jinwoo who looks at him strangely.

“MJ,” He says, frowning once more. “They're on the wrong feet.”

Myungjun looks down seeing that, yes, his shoes are on the wrong feet—and a strange sense of déjà vu washes over him. “Right, right, I’m so stupid…” Myungjun says quietly to himself.

“You’re not stupid,” Jinwoo responds with a frown. “You’re just having a rough, day, it’ll be okay.” He then smiles, expression not quite reaching his eyes, as he places a hand on Myungjun’s shoulder.

Myungjun is still confused beyond belief because this has _already happened to him_. He _swears_ it’s already happened. No, he is not going crazy, he’s simply reliving his day.

Right?

-

-

He has the same conversation with Jinwoo outside of the apartment building, he can’t stop himself from saying the exact same things. Except, this time he’s aware of what he’s saying, it’s not just coming out of his mouth like it had before.

_Wait… if everything’s the same then…_

Myungjun goes wide-eyed, not saying a word before booking it down the sidewalk, sprinting faster than he ever had before until he’s at the store, bursting through the doors and seeing _him_.

Yes, Myungjun barely knew the kid. He had only spoken to him once, but he felt this strange connection with him.

It’s not every day that you dream of someone dying and then you meet that person.

Maybe that’s why he felt so wrong.

Maybe this was what he was supposed to fix, maybe this was giving him a second chance. He had a chance yesterday (today?), and he blew it.

Maybe he was supposed to _save Yoon Sanha._ As stupid as it sounded, it was the only thing he could come up with.

“SANHA!” Myungjun yells, not able to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

Sanha stares at him in confusion when Myungjun remembered that technically, him and Sanha hadn’t met yet. Even if they had, even if Sanha had the memories of yesterday (today?), he never learned Myungjun’s name, anyways.

“Sir?” Sanha asks, confused.

Even though he knew Sanha had no idea who he was, he couldn’t stop himself from hopping over the counter and grasping Sanha in a tight hug.

“Sir, do I need to call the police?” He asks, voice a bit shaky.

“No,” Myungjun quickly lets go of him, taking a step back and straightening out his shirt. “It’s a long story um… do you want to get coffee or something after your shift ends?”

Sanha brightens up, smiling spreading from ear to ear, even though the request had come so out of the blue. “I’d love to—“

At that moment, Jinwoo bursts through the door, out of breath, “KIM MYUNGJUN—“

“Be quiet, Jinjin, I’m having a moment here!” He hisses.

Jinwoo shuts his mouth.

Myungjun apologizes to Sanha.

They exchange numbers.

Sanha promises to text as soon as he gets off.

“What was that about?” Jinwoo mutters as they wander to the back of the store to grab the orange juice they had originally came for.

“He’s new, I thought it would be nice to take him out as a congratulations for getting hired.” He quickly lies, pretending to be busy looking at the different brands.

“You’re so weird.” Jinwoo says under his breath.

Myungjun pretends not to hear it.

-

-

It’s around 4:00 in the afternoon when Myungjun receives an enthusiastic text from Sanha, telling him that he is now free from the confines of work and that they can now go out and get coffee.

Myungjun smiles to himself, typing out a response saying that he’ll come pick him up at the store and to hang tight. He gets an overly happy emoticon in response, Myungjun’s heart leaps in his chest.

While Myungjun is walking, he thinks back to yesterday (today?). He wonders if Sanha was on his way home from work when he was hit. They never released those details. This is also something Myungjun probably shouldn’t have started thinking about, because now he’s feeling paranoid and he’s not sure how to get rid of this feeling that is threatening to become overwhelming.

Sanha is waiting outside the store, leaning against the wall playing on his phone, when Myungjun approaches him.

“Hey,” Myungjun greets with a smile.

“Hi!” Sanha responds, immediately putting his phone away.

They’re silent for a few seconds. Myungjun picks up on the awkwardness, but Sanha seems to be oblivious, which makes him smile.

“What are you smiling about?” Sanha asks, cutely covering up his face.

It’s weird, technically they haven’t even known each other for 24 hours, yet they’re having such a weird, close connection.

They walk to the coffee shop together, Myungjun offers to pay with the little money he has and Sanha graciously accepts, ordering something that isn’t even coffee. Which, Myungjun had to admit, really suited him. Even though Sanha is 18, he gives off the essence of youth, refreshing and young.

Throughout… whatever they were on… Sanha chattered away. Of course, Myungjun did too, but surprisingly he didn’t feel the need to. He was perfectly content with listening to Sanha ramble, about his friends, about his coworkers, about his school life, about his childhood. Frankly, Myungjun could have sat there the entire day and just watch and listen to Sanha talk about himself, every once in a while asking Myungjun questions which he would enthusiastically respond with another point.

It had all gone by too quickly, but a few hours later, Myungjun is walking Sanha home, still idly chatting away. He wondered if Sanha ever grew tired of talking. He wonders what his roommates that he had mentioned were like, he said he had two of them and that they were great.

The way Sanha talked about people… it was obvious to tell how much he cared about the others he mentioned.

And realizing this makes Myungjun think back to yesterday (today?), how Sanha had… died… and that if he really did die, then the world would have been rid of such a good, kind-hearted, genuine person. Which is just sad to think about.

“You okay?” Sanha asks, smile on his face turning to concern.

Myungjun realizes that he had been letting his thoughts show in his expressions, he quickly fixed it, smiling as large as he can. “I’m fine! I was just spacing out.”

“Oohh! I do that all the time!” And Sanha was off to chattering again, Myungjun intently listening, gathering as much information as possible about this human being that should technically be gone from this world. As much pain as he had went through, he’s glad that whatever happened, happened, because then it wouldn’t had encouraged him to interact with Sanha. Still, they technically hadn’t known each other for more than 24 hours, but Myungjun felt like he had known this person for so long. The feeling made him so… happy. But also a little sad at the same time. But for that time, Myungjun was going to push those sad thoughts aside in favor of listening to his new favorite person named Yoon Sanha.

-

-

Myungjun wakes with a jolt, something that he was starting to hate more than the average person would.

However, this time tears weren’t streaming down his face, and his phone was ringing next to him.

He frowns when he sees it’s Sanha calling, not hesitating to click the answer button.

 _“Am I a good person?”_ Is the first thing said.

Myungjun sits there for a moment, processing what he had just heard.

 _“Sorry, that’s a stupid question, um,”_ Sniffles. _“I guess I’m just…”_

“You’re just what?” Myungjun prompts, now concerned. “Are you okay, Sanha?”

_“It’s stupid—“_

“It’s not stupid. You can tell me.”

_“You barely know me.”_

Myungjun laughs. “I think I know more than the average person.”

 _“I just… I keep thinking really badly and it’s like… I don’t know. Eunwoo’s usually here to comfort me but he’s visiting his parents with Binnie who’s the other person I would go to and Rocky doesn’t like phone calls so I don’t want to bother him especially since it’s late and… MJ what do I do_?” He can hear the sobs threatening to come out and it breaks his heart.

“I can’t help you unless I know what’s going on…” Suddenly, Myungjun knows how Jinwoo must have felt when he was going through some questionable things.

_“I just… hate myself a lot, okay? This happens from time to time, don’t worry about it—I should just let you go back to sleep, I’m sorry—“_

“Sanha…” Myungjun whispers. “Sanha, you have nothing to be sorry about, I want to be able to help you if you’re feeling like this…”

 _“I think I’ve talked about myself enough today, haha.”_ The fake laugh in his voice is so obvious, again, Myungjun’s heart is broken.

“That’s the thing, though!” Myungjun encourages. “I want to hear about you! I’m glad you’re talking about yourself! I’ve learned so much about you—“

_“But since when is being selfish a good thing?”_

Myungjun pauses. “You’re not being selfish.”

_“Aren’t I though?”_

“I promise, you’re not.” He waits for a response, but doesn’t get one. “Have you slept yet?”

_“I don’t think I’ve slept for the past 48 hours, honestly.”_

Myungjun frowns. “Why not?”

_“Because Eunwoo and Bin aren’t here to tell me everything’s okay.”_

The urge to cry right now is very strong. Myungjun feels the tears at the back of his eyes. “Everything’s okay,” He says, voice a bit raspy.

_“Are you sure?”_

“Positive,” He pauses again, just listening to the ragged breaths on the other side of the line. “Do you want me to sing to you?”

_“What?”_

“I can sing you a lullaby.”

Silence. Myungjun can practically hear Sanha thinking of an answer. _“You sure you wouldn’t mind?”_ He asks hesitantly.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it.”

Sanha finally agrees and for the next twenty minutes, Myungjun is sitting there, singing to Sanha until he hears soft, even breaths.

When he deems it safe to hang up, he does so and leans against the wall his bed is next to.

He wonders if the hit and run was part of Sanha’s own actions.

Because after the events that had just taken place, Myungjun had learned something that Sanha hadn’t meant to share.

-

-

Over the next few days, Myungjun is happy to say that he hadn’t woken up with a jolt again.

Instead, that had been replaced with nice “good morning” texts from Yoon Sanha, which makes Myungjun smile more than he’d like to admit.

“You talking to Sanha again?” Jinwoo asks with a knowing grin, sitting himself next to Myungjun and handing him a cup of coffee.

“Yeah.” He responds without looking away from the phone.

“You guys really hit it off, didn’t you?”

This is what gets him to tear his attention away from the message he was trying to type out. He looks at Jinwoo, thinking over the words.

“What?”

“I…” Myungjun frowns. He hadn’t even thought of it as “hitting it off,” all he had thought was that he’s happy Sanha isn’t dead. “I guess we did.”

“Why do you seem so surprised by that?” Jinwoo doesn’t seem to understand the look of confusion on Myungjun’s face. Myungjun doesn’t blame him.

“I don’t know, I just… didn’t really think of it as “hitting it off” I guess.”

“I thought you started talking to him because you thought he was cute, honestly.”

Which, not that he hadn’t thought of this before. Sanha is cute, there’s no arguing there. But that’s not the reason Myungjun had started to talk to him. However, it’s kind of hard to explain that you started talking to someone simply because you knew they could be dead if he hadn’t done it.

-

-

It’s two weeks later and Myungjun had just gotten home from work.

He lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been a particularly stressful day. All he wanted to do was sleep.

His phone starts buzzing next to him and he smiles when he sees who’s calling.

“Sanha!” He says enthusiastically.

 _“No, no,”_ A panicked voice, Myungjun recognizes as Eunwoo, speaks. _“Something_ happened _to Sanha—“_

 

iii.

Myungjun wakes with a jolt, he can't remember what his dream was about but there are tears streaming down his face. Should it concern him? Is there something wrong, something he's missing?

No, of course not, it's stupid, just a dumb dream.

Just a dumb dream.

_Just a dumb dream…_

“NO!” Myungjun yells, thrashing around in his sheets. “NO, NO, NONO, NO!”

Soon, Jinwoo is rushing into his room. “WHAT HAPPENED?”

Myungjun doesn’t respond, quickly sitting up and reaching for his phone, pulling up his contact list. “He’s not in here, he’s not… he’s not in here…” He mutters, lips trembling.

“Who’s not in here..?” Jinwoo tries speaking again, slowly approaching Myungjun’s bed. “MJ…”

“I messed up.” He sobs, covering his face. “I did something wrong and messed up everything and now I have to start again, except this time I don’t know what killed him—“

“Killed who?!” Jinwoo is more desperate for an answer this time, grabbing hold of Myungjun’s shoulder and giving it a shake, trying to get the other’s attention.

“SANHA!”

“Who’s Sanha..?”

“EXACTLY!”

Jinwoo is still staring at him like he’s crazy

“I have to go to the store.”

“I’m going to ask the obvious: Are you okay?”

“You know what?” Myungjun sighs, getting out of bed and quickly changing. “I’m really not, but I’m gonna make everything okay.” He says with determination, leaving Jinwoo behind as he moves to the front door, putting his shoes on correctly and leaving without another word.

The walk to the store is tense, a million thoughts rushing through Myungjun’s mind as he tries to figure out what he’s going to do this time. It’s not like he can just kidnap Sanha and keep him away from the world to keep him alive, no matter how much he wants to do that.

He figures maybe… he could just use his natural charm this time, not hop the counter and hug Sanha, scaring him. So that’s exactly what he does, nicely striking up a conversation, and luckily Sanha gives in just as easily.

Everything since then goes the same, the coffee “date”, the phone call, the good morning texts, everything, and Myungjun is smiling again.

He still gets questionable stares from Jinwoo every so often, but that’s something he’s willing to deal with in order to save Yoon Sanha from… something…

It’s the day, two weeks later, that something supposedly happens to Sanha, so instead, Myungjun invites him over for a movie marathon, no harm in that.

Throughout these two weeks, Myungjun had met Sanha’s roommates and his friend Rocky just like before, Jinwoo had become friends with Rocky and he was out with him tonight, leaving Sanha and Myungjun alone in his apartment. They fool around in the kitchen together, making popcorn and Sanha insisted they make cupcakes, which Myungjun wasn’t opposed to, and it general they just have a good time.

They sit on the small couch together, watching a movie that they both had never seen, but Sanha said that Bin recommended it.

It’s a good movie but… it’s strange. There’s a lot of violence, a lot of death, which just makes Myungjun keep thinking about Sanha dying, and he finds it hard to believe that someone like Sanha would like this type of movie.

“Hey,” He says quietly, placing his hand on Sanha’s shoulder. “Do you like this movie?”

Sanha looks at him with relief. “No, no, I hate it a lot, can we turn it off?”

Myungjun smiles slightly, nodding and grabbing the remote to turn it off.

“Sorry, I don’t like things that have… that… in it…”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Myungjun hums as he looks at the blank television. “I could kinda tell.”

“If you liked it, we can keep watching it.”

“No. I feel the same way you do.”

The tension in Sanha’s shoulders drop and he leans over, hugging Myungjun. “I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Hesitantly, Myungjun hugs back, staying like that for a moment longer than he probably should have. “Wanna go eat the rest of the cupcakes?”

Sanha tears away and smiles the biggest smile he had seen that night. “I thought you’d never ask!”

They lean against the counter together, having sorted the cupcakes to they both get an equal amount.

It’s funny watching Sanha eat them. He seems so happy, completely absorbed in the task. It just seems so… Sanha.

“Can I ask you something?” Sanha asks a few minutes after they had finished the cupcakes. They’re both now sitting on the kitchen floor, looking at nothing in particular. It’s about one in the morning, Myungjun thinks they should be sleeping, but he wants to make sure everything goes okay, and he can’t do that in his sleep.

“You just did.” Myungjun grins, wincing a bit as Sanha hits him on the arm. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Why did you decide to become friends with me?”

The unexpected question catches Myungjun off guard, he furrows his brows and frowns, trying to think of an answer other than ‘I wanted to save your life.’ “I’m not sure, exactly.” He decides to go with. “Why did you agree to be friends with me?”

Sanha plays with his fingers, staring at the ground and refusing to meet Myungjun’s eyes. He can’t tell if he’s uncomfortable by the question or not, but that’s what it seems like and Myungjun starts to feel bad. “Well, at first I was just excited that someone wanted to talk to me because, believe it or not, I tend to scare people off by oversharing things…” He pauses for a moment before continuing. “But then… okay, this is going to sound weird are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Please.”

Sanha finally looks at him, worry crossing over his face, but he continues anyways. “Ever since I was little… I’ve always had dreams about death, whether it’s me being killed, me killing someone, me even killing myself, I always have these dreams,” After he says this, Myungjun wonders if this is why he couldn’t sleep the first night they met. That Eunwoo would always tell him it’s okay because Sanha’s scared to sleep, or he wakes up from dreams like this terrified and in need of reassurance. “Like, my parents took me to specialists and nothing helped so eventually I just stopped telling them about them, but it still happened to often and then… as cheesy as it sounds—“

“I love cheesy.”

Sanha smiles a bit, not quite reaching his eyes, as he continues. “Then I met you and… I haven’t had one of those dreams since, and it just made me so happy...”

Myungjun stops and covers his face. What does this mean? Literally, what does this mean? Sanha had had all these dreams that had to do with death and coincidentally Myungjun comes into his life and it’s right before he’s supposed to die, _what does this mean?_

“I told you it’s weird!” Sanha yells, face becoming red. “I shouldn’t have said anything—“

“No, it’s not weird it’s just,” Myungjun quickly says, reassuring Sanha that it isn’t him. “It’s just that… the real reason I became your friend is because the past few nights I’ve been having these… dreams… that you died and it’s weird because I had never met you but when I saw you I just knew you were the one in the dream, I remember your name, your face, everything, and I just… I don’t know…” He doesn’t know why tears start streaming down his face, but they do, and Myungjun is tired of crying.

“MJ…” Sanha trails off.

“How’s that for weird?” Myungjun laughs, leaning his head back.

Sanha scoots closer to him, wrapping his arms around Myungjun. “I guess we’re both weird so it evens out.”

-

-

A month later—

 

iv.

Sanha wakes with a jolt, his nightmare was worse than usual and there are tears streaming down his face. Should it concern him? Is there something wrong, something he's missing?

He’s yelling, which isn’t uncommon, but this time it was worse than before.

Eunwoo comes running to his room, Bin right behind him.

“Sanha, are you okay?!” He asks, panicked.

He’s out of breath, clutching at his chest, just staring ahead as the tears run down his face. “Nightmare.”

The weight shifts on his bed and he’s being pulled in for a hug by Eunwoo. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” He says soothingly, running his fingers through his hair.

“No, you don’t understand,” He chokes out, grabbing a fist full of Eunwoo’s shirt. “It was worse than usual.” Sanha can’t stop shaking and soon Bin is sitting on the other side of him, joining the hug.

“You’re okay, I promise, Sanha.” Bin whispers.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go to work today…” Eunwoo says.

“But it’s only my second day—“

“They’ll have to deal with it, I’m not letting you go like this.”

Sanha almost laughed at how motherly Eunwoo is acting, he would have if it weren’t for the situation he was in. There’s no use in arguing once Eunwoo has made up his mind, he’ll stay home just for today.

 

v.

Myungjun runs for what feels like the millionth time to the store. He bursts through the door, about to call out Sanha’s name when he sees…

The cash register being manned by someone else…

Myungjun’s mouth is hanging open.

“Sir?” The employee calls out. “Sir, can I help you?”

“Yoon Sanha,”

“Who?”

“Yoon Sanha, he’s supposed to be working here!”

The employee frowns. “I don’t know a Yoon Sanha, I’m sorry, this is my first day.”

Myungjun stomps out of the store, back to his apartment, and locks himself in his room.

Jinwoo tries for what feels like hours to get him to come out, or at least open the door and tell him what’s wrong.

Myungjun doesn’t leave.

 

vi.

Jinwoo doesn’t know what happened with Myungjun, but he’s been trying for too long to get it out of him and obviously that’s not happening today.

It’s been a while, Jinwoo is still worried but just hopes that he’ll come out when he’s ready.

It’s almost 11:00 in the evening, the time that the news is supposed to come on. He turns on the television, hoping that somehow it will make Myungjun come out of his room.

Jinwoo is sitting on the couch, not really paying attention until the third segment comes up.

 _“— a hit and run around 12:00pm,_ _the victim has been identified as Yoon Sanha, an 18 year old male—”_

“Huh…” Jinwoo mutters. “That’s around the time MJ got back.” But he doesn’t pay any more attention to it, he doesn’t know the kid anyways.

 

vii.

Myungjun wakes up the next morning, it’s around 7:00am, he had fallen asleep too early. He shuffles out of the room, seeing Jinwoo asleep on the couch, he had left the television on.

The 7:00 news is on.

_“—The hit and run incident of Yoon Sanha is still being investigated—“_

Except this time, Myungjun hadn’t woken up with a jolt the moment he was killed.

 


	2. alternate ending

vii.

Myungjun wakes up with a jolt, he doesn’t know what happened exactly but this time he has a very vivid memory.

“MJ…” He hears the sleepy voice next to him. “MJ, what’s wrong?”

He looks next to him and there’s Yoon Sanha sleeping right next to him. He scratches the back of his head as the other opens his eyes, looking at him with concern.

“MJ?”

Myungjun takes a deep breath and smiles with trembling lips at Sanha, he lies back down, hugging him and bunching his shirt in his fists. “You’ll never believe the dream I just had.” He whispers.

“What?”

Myungjun sniffles, voice muffled by him shoving his face into Sanha’s chest, trying to get as close as possible to him. “I’m so happy it was just a dream. "

**Author's Note:**

> yes that was a wild ride, pls come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/yoonsanhe) and/or [tumblr](http://yoonsanhe.tumblr.com/)


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